Mom with a Dandelion in Her Hair: 8 Years of Marriage

On June 4th, Jeff and I will be celebrating 8 years of marriage. I love him. He was my best friend before we got married and still is to this day. One of the best things about sharing life with your best friend is that we get to go through all life experiences together.

All of us have really good friends in life. I have made quite a few through the years. But there is one thing that is different about a husband than a girl friend. Jeff and I had our first child on the same day at the same moment. We had our first toddler meltdown in a public place, together. We had our hearts melt the first time when our sons put their arms around each other and called each other best buds, together. We experienced hard times together, financial troubles together and losses together.

Some might say these shared experiences through life are minor, but I say they are not. They tie us together in such a deep and profound way. I think sometimes this part of marriage can be brushed over, so I challenge you to really reflect on all that you have shared together. They are not small things and they bind you to your spouse.

Jeff is my soul mate and I knew that from the first moment we met. Yes, cheesy, but it was for me, love at first sight. Sadly, it took Jeff a little longer to come around. But that's part of our story.

I have learned a lot through the years about marriage. For instance, being mean to your husband is not a good way to motivate him to do what you want him to do. I can say, at the time, I did not see it like this. I was just mad he wasn't doing what I wanted him to do. So of course I would take it out on him. Right? Wrong ladies. One of the best symbolism I have heard is that of Adam and Eve. Eve was created when God took the mans rib and formed his wife. What is the purpose of the rib? To guard and protect the heart. Men are tough creatures but their hearts are softer than they let on. I now know that one of my greatest roles as a wife is to guard and protect my husbands heart. I often check myself mentally and ask myself, am I being a good rib, am I protecting his heart in this moment. Whether it be when I am venting to a girlfriend, I still need to honor him or when speaking to Jeff directly about a touchy subject. I can tell you that I don't check myself often enough. Thank goodness I have a husband that is always willing to keep trying and improving. That is what marriage is after all, a continual growth process. They key is, to never give up.

On the day Jeff proposed to me he took me on an incredible journey that ended in the gazebo at Bush Pasture parks rose garden. On the floor of the gazebo there is a stone piece with an imprint of a weather vain. Jeff handed me a card that had beautiful words of love written in it. At the end it said, look to the North to see how much I love you. So I turned around to look to the North, as I was looking the other way I heard Jeff move and turned around to see what he was doing. What I saw was him on his knee asking me to be his wife.

A little while ago I was reflecting back on that day when he proposed and the weather vain on the floor of the gazebo. I thought about a compass which guides your and shows you which way is North - the direction Jeff asked me to look on that day. When I started thinking about the significance of the compass, combined with the weather vein present on the day he proposed, I started praying a new prayer for our marriage. I prayed that God would always point our hearts towards each other. That if we get lost in this world and need to find our way out that we will look to God as our compass because he will surely bring two soul mates hearts back together. Life is tough, after all, I will not expect perfection from life and easy times but I will always hope and pray that our hearts will never be lost going in separate directions. But united, as they were on June 4th 2005 for the rest of our days.

So what did I get Jeff this year for our anniversary? You guessed it, a compass! A learning compass because I know my husband well, and he would not want a gift that is not functional. This way he can use it to teach our boys and hopefully treasure it and it's meaning, always.